Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby dmac » Sat Jun 25, 2016 11:22 am

Today I put on a pair of shorts. About an hour later, I reached into a pocket for my keys and pulled out a handful of garlic cloves.

I have absolutely no idea.
"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby sparkplug » Sat Jun 25, 2016 11:43 am

The killers came to your house thinking you are a vampire? Be careful.
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby dmac » Sat Jun 25, 2016 11:56 am

I think I was cleaning the kitchen when this all went down. You know those wire baskets that hang from the ceiling to hold onions, all sorts of fruit and veg? I stuck a head of garlic there, but there's no mesh. When I broke the head to use a couple cloves, I think I stuck the rest in my pocket because I knew the hanger wouldn't be fine enough to retain the cloves.

I'm guessing, because I honestly don't remember. I'm the Einstein of forgetfulness. Remember the old myth of Albert falling down a manhole? That would happen to me. I make the most mundane, idiotic mistakes. My head is elsewhere.

Here's the full recipe for Garlic Pockets:

Stick a broken head of garlic in your left pocket of black denim shorts.

Eventually wash the shorts on high temp with all the other tough boys stuff

Dry on high

Accidentally stumble across the results days later
"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."
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7Scarlet (Tue Jun 28, 2016 2:08 pm)
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby dntblvu » Sat Jun 25, 2016 2:59 pm

I love garlic, but not in the washer lol :-))
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby Shellsbells » Sat Jun 25, 2016 5:57 pm

Hmm..Im thinking ill try and pass on this recipe...But Thanks for thinking of us :grin: :high: :bouaaaaah:
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby dmac » Sat Jun 25, 2016 10:26 pm

"pockets" are often misunderstood as "balls". No ill will, just follow the recipe and walk away. Forever.
"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."
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Gilroy Garlic Sauce and Marinade

Postby dmac » Sun Aug 07, 2016 12:37 am

Gilroy Garlic Sauce and Marinade

I originally took this from a wonderful and obscure book about sauces, table sauces, marinades, and rubs, but I've altered the ingredients and simplified the recipe to a degree it's now my own- "based off of" a recipe I never would have dared, were I not a whore for garlic. THIS DOES NOT MAKE THE MEAT STINK OF GARLIC.

This is from memory, not from my actual recipe- but it's close. Don't be put off by the ingredients or proportions, or that it bleaches beef nearly white on the outermost 1/16th inch. It is an outstanding marinade that will soften the toughest meat and, above and beyond, give a nice additional level of flavor. You'd think the meat would taste of piss, vinegar, and used garlic, based on the ingredients, but the results are sublime.

DMAC'S GILROY GARLIC SAUCE AND MARINADE
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

1/2 cup vinegar (I use apple cider or distilled white. Distilled white is obnoxious on its own, but the definitive choice.)
1/8 cup fresh garlic cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup fresh parsley leaves

Put all to death in a blender. I add the parsley after blending the rest, so it's still bits and pieces of parsley rather than green sludge. Just a very useful tip.

Put the results into an airtight container. I prefer a mason jar with the two-part lids, as they're airtight and reusable before boiling for "mason jar" storage. Use a bit of water to rinse out the blender, just subtract a guesstimation from the cup of boiling water to follow:

Add one cup boiling water. Slowly. Stir vigorously. Let it cool for five minutes, then seal the container and place it in the fridge. Once it's cooled, shake that money maker again. After one day of letting the marinade mature, throw meat (preferably a tri-tip) into a sealing bag with just enough marinade to cover the surfaces of the meat. Remove air from the bag, as it reduces the amount of marinade necessary to do the job. The leftover marinade will last for weeks in the fridge. Use it within five weeks. You can freeze it, but the parsley bits will turn into black sludge.

Turn the bagged meat several times daily for 1-5 days, as the marinade will protect solid roasts from spoilage.

This is not for ground meats, obviously. SOLID MEATS AND POULTRY ONLY.

As I said, the marinade has a tendency to make even beef appear white. I believe the ingredients (particularly the vinegar) break down cells, similar to how scientists are pumping soap through pig hearts in order to rebuild the leftover structure with human tissue- stem cells are the future.

Despite it possibly appearing white when you're ready to roast, don't be afraid to put a light rub on the meat 1-3 hours prior to grilling. Avoid using rubs with sugar, as the vinegar in the marinade converts to sugar when cooked.

This sauce sounds and smells overpowering, but it's effect is to soften and leave a very distinct yet mild flavor. Try it once and you'll know it's simple on the tongue, yet powerful in how it relaxes the meat.

You may certainly use the leftover marinade as a mop sauce while the meat is grilling. Just be sure to bring it to a boil before applying it to the grilling meat. Don't sieve the results, use it all.

My youngest was the pickiest of eaters. He looked at the first roast I marinated with this recipe and said, "why is it white?" Dubious at best, he still tucked in. This was also the day I showed him why ground pepper and butter is better than salt and butter on corn-on-the-cob. Man, he dug and grooved on that right away. I put fresh ground pepper on one section, and fresh ground sea salt on the adjacent section. He immediately dug pepper over salt.

I explained the marinade recipe to him and, supposedly scientifically, why it turned the meat white. At six, he acted like he was paying attention. In fact, he was scarfing down all the meat on his plate. "This is the best meat, ever!" He had me explain what 'recipe' means. "This is the best recipe, EVER!" High praise from a kid who normally wanted his PBJs cut into triangles with crusts trimmed away. I made a grilled PBJ with bananas for him, and he no longer cared about triangles and crusts. He ate the plate.

I've used this marinade on beef and chicken, with excellent results. I've never used it on pork because, with pork roasts, I already have other recipes pulled and in place before I buy. I suppose it would be fantastic with pork (particularly a butt roast if you peel off all the skin and visible fat), but I simply haven't tried.

I've got another great recipe that stems from "family secrets", passed down. It's far more complex, yet still very simple as my last recipe is hard to beat: four ingredients, a blender, and hot water. Christ, an holistic proctologist would charge $300 to shake gloved hands.

My next recipe is Olde School, and it's a surprisingly sweet/sour marinade or smothering from the days of pan roasting. 1930s to 50s. This was used, in my family, on low-grade cuts like 7-bone, chuck, etc.

This recipe is as enviable as the best Prime Rib. Most prime rib is poorly performed, leaving it a complete twee waste of resources. However, if you use this recipe as a base for a chuck roast, you will be the first in line. YOU will love it.

You don't need a lot of money to enjoy the wonderful variety life pisses on you daily. Except 7-bone and chuck is now priced as if perfect meat rather than the tossaway dogshit it is. The grocery stores are a price-fixing cabal.
"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."
reach me at
keddie28 AT gmail DOT com

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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby dntblvu » Mon Aug 08, 2016 9:02 pm

Sweet and sour, yum!
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby dmac » Tue Aug 09, 2016 4:15 pm

surprisingly, the vinegar ads sweetness. It breaks down tissue and softens the meat, but once the meat hits flame, the vinegar cooks off to a sweet crust. There is no sour.
"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby dmac » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:31 pm

Has anyone tried the Gilroy Garlic Sauce? I just did it again on two cuts- beef and pork. Tri-tip and a loin roast. I marinated both for a couple days in the same container (don't bitch about cross-contamination, I know what I'm doing)... three or four days. I scored the fat of the tri-tip and braised it in my dutch oven, then crusted both sides in a rub, and tossed it on the grill. I used a different rub and no braising on one side of the pork roast.

I was using the Gilroy as the source, then testing a couple other crusts on top of that. Oh, man, it's gonna suck eating the leftovers.
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby Ausgirl » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:11 pm

Lol.. garlic pockets.

Last night, I tried to make vegan mayonnaise... with lactose-free cat milk, which I'd grabbed instead of the similarly-packaged soy milk. Go me!

Didn't taste real good.. went with the regular non-vegan eggy kind, much better. :p
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Re: Recipe: Garlic Pockets

Postby budrfligh » Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:11 pm

I swear I havhave to try this! One day I will.
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